Which Movie Character Would Mitch McConnell Be?
In over a century of film-making, which character has truly captured the essence of Mitch, his unique blend of detached cruelty, self-conscious vileness, and fully-acknowledged evil? There are a few suitable candidates, and if your first instinct was to answer Hannibal Lecter, Nurse Ratched, HAL, or the velociraptor from Jurassic Park, I don’t blame you, they’re good matches.
However, there is a character whose story arc and personal values match those of Mitch so perfectly that the comparison is uncanny. I’m talking about Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg, of course.
If you’ve never watched The Fifth Element, I invite you to do so right now. Drop this article, find the movie, and watch it, I’ll wait for you. Should you choose to read the article first, be forewarned that it may contain spoilers.
Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg is the villain of this 1997 French-American movie directed by Luc Besson (Léon: The Professional). Gary Oldman brilliantly plays him if the adverb is even needed anymore for the man.
Zorg is the CEO of Zorg industries, and he embodies the worst aspects of humanity and capitalism. Already, he seems like a great representation of our dear Senate Majority Leader. But the comparison doesn’t end here. Zorg secretly works for The Great Evil, a form of destructive darkness that threatens to end all life in the universe for no specific purpose. The Great Evil loves his destruction and chaos. He enjoys hurting living things, just like his underling Zorg, and much like Mitch!
Zorg also doesn’t mind to use enhanced interrogation techniques, as he demonstrated when he said:
Torture who you have to, the President, I don’t care. Just bring me the stones. You have one hour.
To Zorg, the end justifies the means. It’s interesting, then, that Mitch’s website features an article with just that title!